Fear

I've been collating some thoughts I've had over the last few weeks about the issue of approval. I think one of the many inner cries we keep hidden away in fear of that very approval is that which yells "Am I enough?", "Do I have what it takes?", "What do you think of me?". I think you either have these moments or you're a liar. It's something that has been resonating with me recently and the more I traverse the wonders of life, the more I see this in our culture.

I can now blush with both amusement and embaressment at the fact that many of my posts have exposed my exhaustion, the loudness of life, the constant battle of mine to get everything done before the close of day. Performing for the approval of other people is exhausting and I'm learning that performing for God isn't the answer. He wants our rest more than our running.

A humble heart is one that is willing to admit their wretchedness and folly. I've been majoring in both of these recently and yet I wonder why I lack humility? Nothing I can do, no performance can ever cleanse my filthy rags, neither can my mind grasp any wisdom without first recognising Christ. "In whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge Col 2:2-4"

And so it all comes down to who I fear. It's not a word we hear a whole deal but we all fear something, be it Men or God. When I fear God, I humble myself and I stop seeking His approval, when I fear men, I start being a fool, seeking the approval of the World.

Proverbs 1:7

"The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.."

Oh that You and I would seek wisdom by first fearfully trembling at the feet of our Saviour.

Not with terror but reverence. Not with shame but honour. Not with contempt but respect. Not with pride but humulity. Not with resistence but with submission. Not with regulation but with my teachibility. Not with His enforcement but by my obedience.

Put plainly- I'm not always right. I trust that He is.

Friends, Run from the fear of men and to the fear of the Lord. Running is always exhausting but when you get to the Lord, there you find rest at the foot of the cross. Where the answer to Life comes as you can fill your cup with the sprinkling of His blood.

So I'd love to leave you with a question.

Whose approval are you after?

How many times do we direct people to our Facebook page to check out our latest albums. Fishing for comments on our latest blog notes or try and populate our wall in a quest to be popular. Something inside of me trembles at the fact that Jesus was hated and yet I'm not. That I would go to extreme lengths to make my character and appearance attractive to others, finding the excuse to keep quiet when Jesus couldn't keep his mouth shut.

Are you so pleased that you're nearing 2000 online friends when Jesus had less than 12?

You know what I think we are after. Deep down, whether we admit to it or not. There's something we all want to hear.

"Well done!"

Are you after the 'Well done' of the World or are you set on hearing the "Well done good and faithful servant!" from God himself. [Matt 25:23]

And so I leave you with My Guide to being a Fool:

-Stop being teachable

-Always give your opinions and stop considoring others

-Stop reading the Bible

-Stop talking to people who disagree with you

-Know that you can figure out life on your own

Listen up, you need to be willing to say.. "What do I not know?", "What can you teach me?" and "How can I better fear the Lord?"

Be fishers of men and not fearful of them.

Pictures speak a thousand words

I put one of my blog posts in Wordle (www.wordle.net) and thought this looked pretty cool, it emphasises the most frequently used words.

An apology is long overdue.

I finally return from my sabbatical and expect people to still be here somehow though.
I wish I could think of a decent, convincing excuse.
But honestly, that would be just one giant fib.
I guess my last year of Uni is the only thing I can vaguely blame, even then I've had heaps of time off.

So I'm back.
This is supposed to be a walk, lets just pretend like any good hike, we took a rather long break and hibernated over the winter season.

Ok so I have pages and pages of stuff in my journal that needs blogging. Work stuff, Ben stuff and more importantly God stuff! He's been incredible (That makes me sound surprised...) I guess I've just wandered off the beaten track and now returned from the undergrowth with a bag fool of goodies to share with you.

I've been living quite radically recently, hmm maybe I don't mean that (snort).
Take 2: I've been striving holyness recently, which means I'm trying to be set apart.

The greatest lesson I've learnt in these months off is that one day every knee shall bow, every tounge confess. Now I'm not one to scream and bring attention but I've found there is something very humbling about falling facedown and bowing before God out of worship. Lets face it. We will all have to do it at some point. Even satan. God promises (even swears by himself) us that! So I'm just thankful that I can do it voluntarily now.
It's a great honour to call my self a Christian, to bear his name. I just hope I can live up to that honour.

Bow the Knee guys. He's Holy